I was extremely nervous the day before the surgery. I had planned to take the day off from work since I had a couple of appts in morning. I thought I had all my ducks in row workwise, but didn't quite get everything completed so I needed to finish up some things in the afternoon. I'm thinking it shouldn't take me that long to finish up...
First up was the appt for my pug, Paco (he has allergies and is going thru allergy shot therapy), which went fine and stayed on time. I run him home and I'm off to my last ortho appt before the surgery. That went quickly as well, they put in some wire hooks on my upper and lower brackets, and put some glue on the ends of the cut wire pieces that they had put in the week before. The inside of my lips had been slipping between and then catching on the ends. Those suckers were sharp! The glue dots made them much more comfortable. :) (Dr Q would have cut these wires during the surgery had it the ortho not done this, and from what I've read this was much more comfortable as I wasn't getting poked by anything before or afterwards.) Dr Nelson had asked me if I was nervous, and I said VERY nervous. It was a weird nervous though too, because I was excited about it at the same time. He laughed and said I was going to great and that I was going to be really happy with the results. :) I sure hope so!
So after my ortho appt, I grab some lunch with the hubby, we pick up the last of my prescription meds and grab a few more packs of Ensure and what not. We get home around 2:30 - 3ish or so, and I break out the work laptop to finish up my work. Should only take me 2-3 hours, 4 tops. Nope, took a wee bit longer...I worked until almost 10:30pm! I'm already completely stressed about the surgery being TOMORROW, and now I'm stressed out because there's way more work to do than I thought. I really am an organized person and on top my shit at work. So I finally get to the point where I was like f*** it, I can't deal with it anymore, I'm too stressed and worried plus I'm tired now, and I go to log onto the network (easier to work off my desktop at home), and the freaking drive I need isn't mapped for some reason. Grrrrrr!!! Thank God I have a GREAT coworker to cover me while I'm out. We had talked about what might need to be finished up so she knew that there might be some things to do - I just really wanted it all done so she didn't have to do it! Btw-this coworker had the same surgery I'm having so she knows all about what I'm going thru. She says it was one of the best things she ever did. I hope I feel the same way when this is all done and over with.
So I finally get that all taken care of, and as I'm getting ready for bed I have my 'freak out' moment. All the anxiety, stress, fear, everything just hits me. I'm trying to brush my teeth and see myself in the mirror, and I just start crying. Heavy, shoulder shaking sobs. I don't feel ready. It came too fast. I feel like I need to ask more questions, read more blogs, but I don't know what else to ask or look for, I mean I've already read EVERYTHING I could find on the subject. What if I missed something? God, do I REALLY want to do this? What if I don't like my new face...once it's done it's done. What if I don't wake up? Still crying, I finish my pre-bed routine, and then I prayed. I counted and thanked God for all the blessings in my life, for Dr Nelson and Dr Quaroni, I prayed for Dr Q to be well rested and well practiced in the plan for my surgery and to be of clear mind, I asked God to watch over my husband to ease his worry during the surgery, to watch over my parents, family and friends. I asked for forgiveness, and that He take care of me so that I wake up and that all goes well...and then I tried to get some sleep.
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